I won a 5k? Me? Are you sure?

Yes, yes, and yes!  And yes, I oxford comma'd the hell out of that list of yesses. Because otherwise, your lists become confusing and misleading.  

Happy Birthday Mr. President.

So, in the spirit of Christmas, I figured I should beat up on some little kids at a race in Lansing last weekend, so that's what I did.  I'm proud of it, so who are you to say that beating a pre-pubescent boy at a race means nothing.

I decided to race a 5k this past weekend because Anna's aunt and uncle were going to do the race, and frankly, I didn't have much else to do that day anyway.  So, I signed up for the Scrooge Scramble in Old Town, Lansing.  Despite mother nature throwing 6inches of snow on us a few days prior, the race director had some cajones and decided to re-route the course.  Unfortunately, this re-route not only made the course less interesting and shorter, but harder because it now involved running up one hill twice and covering several hundred meters sections on wet ice.  It was wet because Madre Natura decided to be grace us with a 40degree day, so the ice was melting at race-time at 10am.  

I ran the course (both laps) to warm up and get a feel for both the course in general and to lay out a strategy of where I could open up and where I needed to play it safe on the ice.  I learned a few good tips that helped during the race (sidewalks vs. streets, inside vs. outside corners, etc.).  After a quick jaunt to the potty, I was lined up.  A field of less than 150 and only a few that were wearing racing flats and 5k-esque clothing, maybe I could do well here?  Yes, that is me judging by appearances, because who would you pick to win: the guy with a sweatshirt on and a fuel-belt around his waist or the tri-shorts and flats-wearing, self-inflated guy who toes the line next to him?...That's what I thought.

Anyway, we were off.  An uphill start felt kindof weird, but didn't hurt at all since pain doesn't set in for a few hundred meters anyway.  By a quarter mile in, I was in the lead.  I heard breathing and footsteps off my left shoulder, but I was still leading, whoever this was was not faster than me.  We got to an icy portion of the course and I hopped from the street to the sidewalk (thanks Lansing for having sidewalk snow ordinances) and my competition quickly realized his mistake and had to surge to make up for it.  Two quick right turns and we were back onto clear streets.  Still running shoulder to shoulder, I decided to let him take the lead.  I figured, if he isn't passing me yet, I'll have a chance to win if I can drop him later in the race.

I stuck on his shoulder and watched as his heels made indents in the asphalt and I swear I could hear his tiny twig legs stress-fracturing with every step.  

Quickly, both his dreams and tibia were crushed

At this point I was feeling really good.  I knew there was a hill coming up and I knew I could push up it because there was a slight downhill right after.  My adversary did not possess such crucial knowledge.  The hill appeared, I surged and broke free.  I was now onto the second loop of the course, 1.5mi in at 5:55/mi pace, and alone.  The race was mine to be won.  I avoided the icy street and made the two quick turns and looked back to see that I had about a 100m gap.  Dry streets, push hard, 5:45/mi.  Wet ice, slow down, stay upright, 6:15/mi.  This strategy was on repeat for the second lap.  Got to the boardwalk again and didn't see anyone behind me, .5mi left.

Pushed up the hill and surged for the finish.  No tape, no big cheers, but clearly in first place, and a look of approval from the lead biker (or is he just checking out my butt?) 

My left arm has an unwieldy hitch in it's giddy-up

18:07 for a 3.03mi course = 5:58/mi average.  Definitely didn't hurt as bad as a previous 5k with the same average pace.  I paced this one much better and felt controlled the entire time.  It felt pretty good to win, despite my biggest competition being a 14 yr old boy (who if he doesn't get injured due to poor form will become a fast runner in a few years).  Regardless, I won.  People thought I was fast.  Tom Izzo signed a basketball that will be given to me.  I got a medal that says "1st Overall".  'Nuff said.